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Zombies Part 2… Zombie wranglers?!

If I ask you who the president of the United States is and you say Harry Truman… I’m leaving! If you catch the reference, give yourself five points for major zombie movie knowledge! If not, send me a message or comment and I’ll fill you in!

So, if you read What is it with zombies?! then you remember me telling you about my friend Jack helping me out with all things zombies. Well, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of a zombie wrangler ( I thought it was a kind of jeans or something!), but my friend Jack was telling me all about them and what they do… Matter of fact he knows a few and he hooked me up with an email address and lo and behold they actually replied! I’m going to let you read what Mr. Hoggreaser had to say and after you’re done I’m going to tell you about a surprise that he is going to help me out with as well!

Warning, the following is your typical redneck zombie wrangler…

RuFus Hoggreaser

Hi ther pepoles in the introweb land.  My nam is RuFus an me an my bruthers  r hav a lil biznes wrangling  up zombies.  As a zombie wranglier we hav a lil ranch down in texas wher we kep the zombies outa harms way. Sum pepole think zombies r all bout chasin folks down an eating ther brains. This is not tru. Zombies just ned a lil guidinc. We offr a ful al in culsive resort for zombies. We also rent our zombies out to local haunted hauses durin the spookin season. Our main custmer is Zombie Manor out of Arlington Texas. Zombiemanor.com   We r a contrakted by them to pik up zombies for ther special events and regular haunt season. We also offr survics at the lokal zombie walks and hor festivels . we have ben rated the best zombie wrangling crew in the DFW area the last 3 years by the beter biznes buro. SO if you gota a zombie mak sur u cal the zombie wranglers.

Okay, if you were able to make all that out then you probably learned about a whole career field involving zombies that you never knew about before! Also, my friend Jack told me that RuFus gets money for every person that goes to the link of his “main customer”… So anyways, let me tell you the big news that I’ve got here involving RuFus. He has told me that not only does he have a farm where they give guidance to zombies, but he has some that can have a reasonably intelligent conversation! Now I know what you’re thinking, I’ve watched tons of zombie movies and they don’t talk! Well, let me correct you there! Ever heard the word “BRAINS!” out of one of them? Have you ever seen Return of the Living Dead? Where the guy asks his girlfriend if he can eat her brains?! Yeah, they all aren’t that way, but some of them are! Have you ever seen the movie ZA: Zombies Anonymous? Where they can all have these conversations?! Jack told me that that is a very remote part of the U.S. and he isn’t able to disclose the exact location but that it might be somewhere in Montana… Or maybe Deleware.

So anyways, I haven’t had the chance to get to the ranch and interview the actual zombie yet, but I will get it done and you will hear it here first! Until then, stay safe and watch out for “walkers”…


What is it with zombies?!

Have you ever watched a zombie movie and you want to stop watching but you keep on watching? I’ve been wondering, what is the draw to these things? They are gross but then there is something so appealing about them! I am trying to figure out what it is about these movies that keeps people coming back for more. They even have large cultural events where people make themselves up like zombies and have what they call zombie walks where they parade around, hang out and act weird like, well, zombies!

With all the consistent hype out there about zombies I thought it’d be good to see if we could find one that could resist eating our brains long enough to answer some questions so maybe we could get the inside scoop about all things zombie related.

I asked my friend Jack who has been involved in the world of zombies for some help with this, this is take on it and he’s Interested/Fascinated with the whole zombie phase. The following is his take on it all:

I’m not sure where to start with this.  Zombies are just cool. They don’t care about anything but eating. I guess I have always had a spot in my heart for zombies.  Zombie movies are great, yeah you pretty much know that it’s an end of the world, quarantine city, government experiment kinda movie. There is always a badass zombie killing character there to make it all look like fun. Your always thinking man if was to happen I would be just like that, killing zombies and saving people left and right. Yeah right, you would be all boarded up in your house hoping some 20 zombies don’t smell your fresh flesh and break your door down.  Zombie movies have been around since the early 1900’s. Like White Zombie came out some time in the 30’s, and it just grow from there. Then there’s the whole thing about fast zombies and slow zombies. I don’t know where the two different kinds came from, but I guess it gives the movies a little more of a twist.  In George Romero’s original Night of the Living Dead, the zombies had a slow lingering move to them, as you would think a dead body would be if it could just get up and walk. It was later the fast zombies came, 28 days later, Resident Evil and ZombieLand, all the zombies are like super strong, fast-moving killing machines.  I guess all I can say about zombie movies are they are always fun and exciting.

I have spent past years working at haunted house, at horror festivals and just having fun with the whole scary side of the acting/ make up part of it all. I have created characters for myself, from being a zombie and making to a full costume suit, to a character who wranglers up zombies for work. I have spent many of nights behind a mask or full make-up. Chasing people thru the parking lots of the haunt house, climbing into cars after teenagers when their parents unlock the doors, cause the kids have locked themselves in the car, just to try to get away from use.  Being a zombie is just fun. You can linger around, lunge out at people a scare them or just hover around them and make them very uncomfortable.

Being a Zombie Wrangler is a fun part to play also. The Zombie Wrangler character is based on a HellBilly Redneck who just doesn’t care. We are rude, crude and there to just make you laugh and be very creepy. It’s kind of something you just have experience to understand. We have been asked to attend the Dallas zombie walk to help control the zombies as they linger the streets. You can find us on youtube.com.

I have also been a part of doing make up in the haunted house, to be asked to do the red carpet movie premiere for Zombie Land in Austin. Where we drove the Zombie Manor patty wagon do and set up shop on main street in front of the Paramount Theatre. We did the make up for the 1st 100 people to show up to the premiere. Then we worked the red carpet as the stars showed up.

I could go on forever with weird wacky stories of my adventures in the haunted world of make-up and acting.

In the next part, my friend Jack has gotten a quick interview with one of these zombie wranglers… He’ll tell us what he does and why he does it etc. I hope you are looking forward to it!


Pro-Choice and Pro-Life people are idiots!

Isn’t it funny how you can believe something and find that the people with the opposite viewpoint are just total idiots?! Yet when investigated a little further, the same things you find about them to be idiotic resemble your viewpoint (in an it’s opposite day kind of way)? And what’s funny is that neither group of people really see the hypocrisy in their thought process!

I find it interesting that most people who call themselves pro-life are usually in favor of the death penalty while most that call themselves pro-choice are against it. Isn’t that ironic? People that are pro-life want people killed for heinous crimes that they committed while people who are pro-choice want unborn children killed that did nothing wrong… I don’t understand that logic.  Kill an unborn person that did nothing wrong yet let someone who committed a heinous crime continue to live?! In a way both are hypocritical but I find the pro-choice people’s logic to be more hypocritical.

In my opinion it seems more important to defend defenseless children rather than people who’ve committed crimes enough to warrant their execution. The people committing these crimes know there are laws in place and what the consequences could be, the other victim (the child to be aborted) is at fault for no other reason than somebody screwed somebody else and doesn’t want to face the consequences that they knew were quite possible as well.

Let’s just say that I’m in favor of terminating the pregnancy in cases of rape or incest. It’s a very tough argument here for that… I understand the argument that the person wasn’t even wanting or trying to get involved but still did without their consent, and I totally understand that. I hope that you or anyone you know, or even anyone you don’t know doesn’t have to go through the process of making a decision on that. It’s always easy to make decisions on things like this when it doesn’t involve you, your family or friends but imagine the shoe on the other foot.

An interesting fact about me and my place in this argument and a very fitting one as well is that before I became a Christian I was pro-choice all the way… I didn’t want to have to deal with a child if I made that mistake, I didn’t want to face the what I knew where very real possible consequences either. Just the opposite is that after becoming a Christian I have definitely had a change of heart on this and am totally pro-life.

Another thing that has changed my mind in this area is having become a father myself… Once you have your own children and realize the beauty and innocence that they entail it changes your mind on the subject, at least it did for me.

Just thought I’d say my peace on the issue and add a third chapter to this that I’ve written about. If you haven’t seen the first two then check these out:

Abortion should be legal, a change of heart…

Dear Oklahoma,


Dear Oklahoma,

I know we don’t know each other too well but I feel that given what you’ve done recently I needed to tell you something. You may not remember, but I hate politics something fierce so for me to comment on something political means it got a lot of publicity.

Recently you passed a law of some sort that doesn’t allow people to have abortions in your state, and in a way I kind of applaud that. In a different way I wonder what you think you will accomplish. I am not in favor of abortions at all and for years I thought that a law like you passed would be an incredible breakthrough but to be honest with you I don’t think that this will really do anything to help the abortion epidemic. Well you know what? Maybe it will help… There may be someone who is considering terminating a pregnancy that won’t do it because they can’t or won’t travel out-of-state, and for the life of an unborn child that is a definite win.

But I don’t think that’s what you’re going for… I think that you think that by doing this that people in Oklahoma that want to murder their child will just not do it because they won’t make the effort to drive an hour or two to get it done and I think you have missed this by a mile. See the solution here isn’t to block a place where they can do something that by law in the United States is legal, the only true solution here is a change of heart by the person wishing to end the life of their child for mere convenience. With a true change of heart, said person isn’t going to want to end a life. That, and that alone is the only real solution here. The hearts of people have to change. For this reason, I believe that Abortion Should Be Legal… I wrote about this before but given what you’ve done it needs to be revisited.

I wrote in a blog about What I Tell My Kids… And if a person that was considering this solution would heed that advice, to truly heed that advice (the most important advice in the world) then there is no way that they’d go through with such a tragic ending for their pregnancy. Treating other people the way you want to be treated, every one, whether in or out of the womb, would end such issues because of a change of heart required to truly do so.

 


Getting to know MLB Fancave Finalist, Ricardo Marquez…

If you are a baseball fan maybe you’ve heard of the MLB Fancave, it’s a place where one lucky person is going to spend the entire baseball season and get to watch every single major league game this coming season. In the words of Napoleon Dynamite… LUCKY! They also get to meet players and celebrities and pretty much live the coolest possible life ever for an entire baseball season!

I sent The Artist Formerly Known as Rick  50 questions to get to know him a little better and he was nice enough to answer them all and play along! See what he’s all about in

3… 2… 1… GO!

1. Tell me your basics… Name, age, where you live?

I’m Ricardo Marquez, 26, and I live in Covina, CA. Home of old people and where the TV show Roswell was filmed.

2. Why do you belong in the MLB Fancave?

I don’t know if I BELONG in the MLB Fan Cave. I’d say I was born for it. MLB Fan Cave is going to need someone to bring the jokes and bring some posi-vibes to the cave. I think I’m that man that can do all that.

3. Have you ever named a pet with a team reference involved? Example?

I named a bird I used to have “San Diego Chicken”. Really screwed up his personality. I felt bad when he tried to lay eggs.

4. What is your favorite non-sports movie?

Kazaam. Hands down. Proved to me that you could make the worst thing in life and people would still love you. Wait, that wasn’t a sports movie right?

5. Favorite sports movie?

Air Bud Seven Inning Fetch. Actually, Sandlot would be the best. I’d say something like Bull Durham or Eight Men Out but I think I’ve seen Sandlot about a million times. Same for Rookie of the Year.

6. Favorite band/musician?

I listen to way too much music to really narrow down my favorite band but Thrice is pretty high up there. Only band I can legitimately say I’ve seen since they first started. If I get in the Fan Cave I would love to invite them to come play.

7. What is the best album ever made?

Again, too many albums. At the current moment the new Bon Iver and Antlers have been playing constantly.

8. Do you have a favorite comedian?

Rodney Dangerfield. The guy’s delivery was so spot on it was ridiculous he didn’t get any respect in his house. “One time my girlfriend say to come on over cause no one was home. I showed up and she was right. NO ONE WAS HOME!” CLASSIC

9. What is your favorite baseball team?

Yankees. I can’t even joke around like that. Angels bud! Come on! Since the day I was born, the Angels have been a part of my life. 

10. Who is your favorite all time player from that team?

A lot of people think I’m joking around but Chili Davis was probably my all time favorite. Tim Salmon super close second. Chili Davis wasn’t exactly the greatest but he definitely wasn’t the worst. One of the first games I actually remember going to, Chili went like 4-4 against the Yankees. Unreal.

11. What made you become a fan of that team?

My mom did actually. Most of my family are pretty die-hard Dodger fans. My mom kind of steered me the right way. Also, my Little League was the Angels so that pretty much solidify my fandom.

12. If you were stranded on an island what three things would you want with you?

A boat, unlimited supply of gas, and baseball cap. I’M ON A BOAT MOTHA…

13. If you had three wishes (can’t ask for unlimited wishes) from a magical genie what would they be?

To live in the MLB Fan Cave, unlimited supply of pizza on command, and for the Angels to win the World Series at least once every 5 years. Baseball would suck if there was no competition.

14. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done for someone else?

Like in love or just risked my life for? I work for a Mobile Video Game Co. so one time while working a party, I jumped in the middle of the street to grab a toddler who took off towards a car. That was pretty gnarly.

15. Name the baseball players you’ve met? If too many name top 5…

I’ve met a few but the coolest have to be Tony Gwynn, Stephen Strasburg, Torii Hunter, Jered Weaver, and Rickey Henderson. Although Fred Lynn was super cool. With Henderson, I had to talk in third person to try and get him to sign a card. It was ridiculously funny.

16. Have you ever bungee jumped or went sky diving?

Nope. Never want to. I can’t even get on some roller coasters at Disneyland.

17. What is your favorite vacation spot? Perfect vacation?

Visiting a ballpark would have to be that. Two summers ago, some friends and I have made it a goal to visit every park before we get married or unfortunately pass away so going to a new ballpark is a pretty religious experience. Fun fact, Oakland A’s have quite possibly the funniest fans to watch a game with.

18. What do you do for a living?

I work for Games2U. It is a Mobile Entertainment Co. for parties whether it be celebrities, private birthdays, camps, etc. Pretty rad job. I get paid to have fun. Although it’s only part-time, it pays my booze funds.

19. Do you cry when you watch movies?

Last movie I cried in was Field of Dreams last week.

20. Most people have a musical guilty pleasure… What’s yours?

Ha you’re probably going to find some weird stuff on my iPod. Janis Ian and Wham! are two that make my friends go “Uh what dude?”

21. If you had to change your name, and there were no limitations except a first, middle and last name, what would you change it to?

The Artist Formally Known As Rick

22. How do you feel about zombie movies?

They rule. Whether they are amazing or terrible, always fun to watch.

23. Which is your favorite Looney Tunes character and why?

Taz. My uncle actually had Taz tatted on his calf and reminded me of him when he would have Boxing Matches. Unfortunately he passed away in ’96 so Taz is a sentimental character.

24. Have you ever traveled outside of the continental U.S.? If so where?

Only place outside of U.S. is Mexico. My dad sides lives down there. And no, they are not part of the cartel.

25. If you make the Fancave, what are your plans for after the season ends?

I actually have no clue. Hopefully it brings up some writing gigs or the Angels offer me a job in their communications/social media department. I would love to work for the Angels Organization but realize so do hundreds of thousands of fans.

26. What do you think is the most unbreakable record in baseball?

Probably Barry Bonds home run record. Tainted or not, that record is untouchable and remarkably insane to get. Kudos to Bonds. Sorry about the ’02 loss bro! ha.

27. Tell me your feelings on Pete Rose… Does he belong in the Hall? Be specific.

Pete Rose belongs in the Hall of Fame. A lot of baseball purists want to crucify the man but people have done a lot worse in life. Yes, stupid decision to bet on the game while you’re playing, but it’s technically the same as some players playing in Fantasy Baseball leagues.

28. What is your most prized baseball memorabilia?

Most recently a signed Torii Hunter ball I got a few weeks ago. Unless I get a Chili Davis bat or ball signed then that is gonna be high up there.

29. What do you prefer, pitchers duel or slugfest? Why?

Slugfests for the win. Mashing balls over the wall is probably the most exciting thing in the game! They even have fireworks for it. Unless you can get an M-80 going off after every strike out then Slugfests are the better of the two.

30. Have you ever milked a cow?

Yes and I was absolutely awesome at it.

31. Ever have a near death experience?

I’ve been in a few. Actually, every time the McRib comes around and I eat one I feel like I’m in a battle to fight for my life.

32. Which major league team do you most despise and why?

Probably the Yankees. I respect the team and can’t dismiss all they’ve done for the sport and the amazing talent they have/had but come on, you can’t just buy a championship. Rangers are slowly creeping up.

33. What’s the best baseball nickname ever?

Hammerin’ Hank or Sultan of Swat are probably the best.

34. Which of the Muppets do you most relate to? Why?

YES A MUPPET QUESTION!! I’d say Fozzie because we both have the cheesiest jokes and are terrible at our comedic craft. Although, Statler and Waldorf (two old guys) have quite possibly the best jokes out of the bunch.  

35. What’s one question I haven’t asked that you wish I had asked?

How do I keep my six pack with all the food I eat.

36. How do you react to a flying cockroach? Or a huge spider? Ultimately, do you scream like a girl or are you totally manly when seeing a huge insect?

I scream in my head then get that thing out of where I’m at. Bugs scare me.

37. If you will, pick one best pitcher and one best hitter in major league baseball…

Oh man. Tough one. Ruth vs. Williams comes up to mind right away. I mean, Ruth had some solid numbers and he pitched for four years. So who’s to know how monstrous his numbers could have been if he had hit those four years instead. Ruth for batting and probably Roger Clemens in terms of pitching.

38. Rally squirrel or rally monkey?

Rally Monkey. And I hate that thing. He’s helping the Angels out!

39. Better signing, Tigers getting Fielder or Angels getting Pujols? Why?

In terms of RIGHT NOW, I’d say Pujols. In terms of Longevity I’d say Fielder. Although, Pujols is a modern day Babe Ruth so I think the Angels won the off-season signing trophy. 

40. Best baseball hairdo, 93 Phillies type mullet or Oscar Gamble/Coco Crisp afro?

Randy Johnson’s mane. LOOK AT THIS HAIR!  

41. Best baseball manager ever?

I could easily say Connie Mack, Casey Stengel, or Joe McCarthy, but for some weird reason I want to say Tony La Russa. Maybe it’s cause of that miraculous season he had with the Cardinals and the way he left on top but he holds that spot for me at the moment. Mike Scioscia needs to win one or two titles and I’ll give him that coveted spot.

42. Best era of baseball?

Early 90’s

43. What is your favorite Sunday paper cartoon of all time?

Marmaduke. HES SO CRAZY!

44. Ever had a baseball make you cry from sadness? If so explain…

I did. I actually made a video about it and it’s up on YouTube.

45. What is the grossest food you’ve ever eaten?

Cow brains. That was gross. Don’t ever eat that.

46. What’s your favorite NFL team?

Dolphins. I thought this was a baseball interview! ha

47. Favorite NBA team?

Don’t follow NBA too much but I was a fan of the Clippers for a few years back before they got Paul. Terrible team but I liked them.

48. Have you ever been to a World Series game? If so when?

Nope. I would love to though and this MLB Fan Cave is giving one of us the opportunity to go to whoever won. Would be pretty amazing to get that far.

49. What is your biggest pet peeve?

People at stadiums who get mad when you cheer the team on. Get your face away from the iPhone and enjoy the game buddy!

50. Last question, name the one thing you’d bring to the fancave better than any of the other 49 remaining applicants out there now…

Probably some creativity. I have a ton of sketches I’d love to do or questions I want to ask some of the players that would visit. Positivity and fun times.

 

Give me your closing statements…

I like turtles. No seriously, thanks so much for letting me answer some of these questions and your support with all the MLB Fan Cave finalists. Lets get an Angels fan in the cave and into Yankee Territory. They always come to the Big A, it’s time one of us gets sent to their home! Follow me on Twitter @iBlogBetter and be sure to go vote on MLBFanCave.com. PARTY!

 

To vote for Ricardo for the MLB Fancave, go here… http://mlb.mlb.com/fancave/index.jsp?content=vote#fbid=AMTZoPdj1Q4


What I tell my kids…

Have you ever have someone pull in front of you in traffic like they don’t even know you’re there? And when they do the fire just rages inside of you? Then, within a minute or two (if you didn’t let all that anger out by screaming and yelling, slamming your hands on the steering wheel, blowing the horn out at them or whatever it is that we usually do when someone cuts us off or pulls out and drives 15 miles under the speed limit when we were driving 10 over it so we’ve got to slow down) you’re usually over it…

Have you ever thought about the person that is in that other car? Have you ever thought about what they might be going through? I once heard a man say that he imagines that that person just left the hospital after losing a loved one, or just got off the phone from a devastating call that changed their life forever… When I heard that it really changed the way that I try to react in such an instance, I’m not perfect in my actions usually but I am trying and I believe that’s what counts.

There is something that I tell my kids to do, I tell them that it is the most important thing in the world that they can do for someone else, and for themselves… It is to treat people the way that you’d want to be treated, whether they “deserve” it or not. I also tell them that it isn’t easy, at all, but it is worth trying.

Give someone the benefit of the doubt today, everyday… Whether they deserve it or not, you might be the only person who does. And they may need it more than you can ever know.

You’ll fail, a lot… I do everyday, but it’s still worth the effort.


Zombies, politics, baseball, kids saying awesome things and other stuff…

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted a blog… I have been busy, lazy and maybe a little uninspired. I think it was a combination of all three. It’s easy to let life get going and just forget to do the things we really wanna do sometimes.

Tonight I was at work and between that and coming home my mind has been really racing with things to jot down… Do people jot things anymore?! Anyways, I’m unable to write things down while working so lots of cool things get lost in the mix and I hate that, but it’s how it goes.

I’ve got an awesome Zombie blog that I have collaborated with an old friend on, it will include a guy that has a zombie ranch that rents them out to haunted houses and such as well as an inside look at what kind of person likes this kind of stuff and why… Also, gonna have an exclusive interview with a real live, eh hem, zombie. Well, you know what I mean, kind of, right?!

I am gonna tackle some politics, a very short and direct tackle I will add… If you’ve read what I think about politicians then know that that will be my guide.

I am also going to do a historical post on baseball, something that I’ve wanted to do for a good while… I think it will interest any baseball fan of any team!

Also, not sure if you’ve heard about the MLB Fancave, but I’m going to interview a couple of the top 50 finalists for the 2012 season and see what makes them tick! We will get to know them a little better and see what they truly bring to the table with a wacky interview!

To end this, I will share something my daughter said to me on Friday night. My nephew and my kids and I went to a concert, the concert had acts of all sorts… From hard rock, pop punk, contemporary type music to even rap/hip hop. When the hard rocking band started playing their first song, about two minutes into it my daughter (who is almost 5) turns around and looks me in the eye and says “that’s what I’m talking about!” It was such a proud moment for me!

Peace out!